The Last Goodbye
by elsiecarson
Summary: After Leo's death, May finds herself trying to cope with her own grief, the grief of Maisey, and the fact that Maisey doesn't want to stay. May's memories overwhelm her along with a sense of a lost opportunity.
1. Chapter 1

May Bailey runs her fingers softly over the photo she found in Leo's pawn shop. It's a picture of her when she was young and so in love with Leo. She can't quite believe he's gone. She can feel the tears running down her face. When she looks up Maisie is standing in the doorway.

"Tell me about Pop." Maisie requests. She knows that Mrs Bailey knows a lot about her grandpa.

"Oh, it's complicated and it's such a long story, Maisie. You grandfather and I always had a volatile relationship." May sighs heavily.

"I like long stories, especially about Pop. No one knows him like you and I do. Please tell me about him. I want to know everything." Maisie pleads with Mrs Bailey.

May sets her picture down on the coffee table. She sighs again before she begins to speak. "Your grandfather and I grew up together in Nova Scotia. We got along so well when we were young. When he finished school he decided to move out here and stake a claim. We wrote each other all the time and I loved getting his letters. When he struck silver he wrote me and said if I wanted to have an adventure I should come out and meet him. I think we each had a crush on the other. I had had a crush on him for years. I packed my bags and came out. Your grandfather met me at the station. I was nervous to be in the wilderness, but your grandfather put me at ease immediately. He'd met John Bailey when they were out prospecting. John was the man who I eventually married. You grandfather asked to court me when we were here. Once the mine was up and running was the time of the Yukon gold rush. Your grandfather and I wanted to get married, but your grandfather didn't think he had enough to offer me. He went off to the Yukon with a promise he'd come back to me." May's eyes well up with years. "I didn't see or hear from him again until he came back to New Bedford."

"You loved him very much, didn't you?" Maisie asks Mrs Bailey.

"Yes, I did. I thought we were going to be together forever. I thought for a long time that he never loved, but this picture proves he always did love me. That means a great deal to me. I was heartbroken when he didn't come back. I always knew he was a wanderer, but I was shocked when he didn't come back for me." May says honestly.

"You know, when Pop and I came here he wondered if you were still here. He was shocked when he found out that you were a widow. He was always very concerned about you when he was here. I heard a lot about you before we came to New Bedford. Pop always loved you. He never said so out loud, but I could tell. He always had a look on his face that he only got when he talked about you. You must have been very special to him." Maisie tells Mrs Bailey.

"You're very observant, aren't you, Maisie? Leo always said that about you. He was very special to me too, but I think we both felt like we'd had our chance to be together, so we never tempted fate when he came back here. Cousin Jessie wanted us to be together, but we turned down the opportunity. We were better off being friends, but we talked about our past and cleared the air with each other." May says quietly.

"I'm not sure that Pop felt that way recently. He seemed to be regretting not telling you how he felt about you. In fact, I think he wrote you a letter. I'll have to search upstairs in the pawn shop for it, but you deserve to have it. I miss him so much." Maisie sighs.

"I miss him too, Maisie, more than anything in the world. I don't remember feeling this way when my husband died. This is much more emotional. It's much harder this time." May admits to Maisie. In the days since Leo died May has been particularly emotional. She's tired and feeling particularly old at the moment. There aren't very many people her age in New Bedford and she doesn't talk very much to very many people. She sighs heavily. She doesn't know what to say to Maisie most of the time. She's a bit out of touch with the young girl.

"Mrs Bailey, are you all right? You look quite tired. Pop wouldn't want you to get sick because of him. He hated to have any fuss when he was alive and he wouldn't now. He loved you and he'd want you to live your life. he told me once he loved seeing you in town because it meant that you were living a happy life." Maisie asks May.

"Yes, I'm all right. I'm just tired. The last few days have been very long and emotional. Leo had a way of getting into your soul and never leaving, rather like our home province." Mrs Bailey reassures Maisie. She doesn't want Maisie to feel as if she's losing another parental figure. "I think I'm going to go up to bed. Good night, Maisie."

"Good night Mrs Bailey. Can I see the picture Pop had of you?" Maisie requests as May stands up. May passes Maisie the picture. "Oh! You were beautiful when you were young! Pop was right!"

"Did he tell you I was beautiful?" May asks. She's quite shocked Leo said anything of the sort considering he was never very open with his feelings.

"He told me about you when we were travelling out here to New Bedford. He told you were the most beautiful woman he'd ever met, but he'd never shown me that picture." Maisie sounds confused.

"That picture was only ever between the two of us. I had it taken out here. Even my father didn't know. It was special between us. Maybe that's why he didn't show you the picture." May speculates.

"Why did you give him a lock of hair?" Maisie asks curiously.

"It was what was given by a young woman as a token of affection at that time. He asked me for a lock of my hair when we went for a picnic at Bass Lake. We were perfect together." May reminisces. "Right I'm off to bed. It's very late."

Maisie stands up and hugs Mrs Bailey. Suddenly she feels much close to Mrs Bailey after this conversation. "Good night Mrs Bailey. Please know that Pop loved you. Pop was a good judge of character, so I love you too."

May can't believe what she's just heard. She hugs Maisie gently. "Thank you, Maisie. I needed that. I know that your grandfather meant the world to you and I also know he adored you. Never forget that."


	2. The Almost Brush Off

May slowly climbs the stairs to her bedroom. She knocks on Grace's door before she goes to her room. She opens Grace's door and says, "Good night, Grace."

"Oh, good night mother. Are you all right, mother? You look as if you've been crying." Grace turns to look at her mother.

"I have been crying, Grace, but I'll be all right. I'm off to bed. I'm very tired." May tells her daughter.

"All right mother, I'll see you in the morning. Try and get a good night's sleep. I know you haven't been sleeping well."

"I wish I could sleep, but every time I close my eyes all I can see is Leo. I miss him so much. He was such a big part of my life." May's voice sounds full of tears and emotion.

"Oh mother, Mr. McGinty will always be with you. He would want you to be happy and healthy. Go get some sleep mother. Don't worry about getting up early in the morning. I'll make breakfast in the morning. Maisie and I are fine on our own." Grace assures her mother.


	3. A Connection in the Night

May yawns as she walks into her bedroom. She changes into her nightgown and sinks down on the side of the bed. She sinks her face into her pillow and sobs. She uses her pillow to muffle the sound of her tears.

Suddenly there's a soft knock on her bedroom door. May sniffs and says, "Come in."

Maisie comes in and stands just inside the door with tears pouring down her face. "I can't sleep."

May's heart breaks for Maisie. "I can't sleep ether. Come here." May shifts back against her headboard and opens her arms to Maisie.

Maisie walks over, climbs on the bed, and allows May to hold her in May's arms as she cries. May cries with Maisie because there's nothing else to do. "I just want to be able to tell him I love him one more time." Maisie sobs.

"I would love to be able to tell him I love him once! Why was I such a coward? Why couldn't I just tell him the truth?" May asks sadly.

"You're not a coward and Pop wasn't particularly easy to talk to." Maisie sniffs softly.

"Do you want to stay here tonight?" May asks running her fingers through Maisie's hair.

"Can I stay? I've been feeling so alone and I don't want to feel that way anymore." Maisie says seriously.

"Of course you can stay. Just let me let me hair down and braid my hair." May says gently.

"I can do it. I like doing people's hair. Can I try?" Maisie asks eagerly.

"Of course you can. The brush and ribbon are on my dressing table." May begins to pulls her hairpins out of her hair.

Maisie collects Mrs Bailey's brush and hair ribbon sits back on the bed. She carefully brushes Mrs Bailey's silver hair. She doesn't want to pull too hard. She sets the brush down and reaches up to divide May's hair into three parts and carefully braids her hair. She ties the ribbon delicately at the bottom. "There, all finished." Maisie sounds satisfied.

"Thank you, Maisie." May says sweetly.

"I think you look younger with your hair down, Mrs Bailey. Maisie says seriously.

May turns to face Maisie. "It's funny that you would say that. Your grandfather used to tell me that all the time. He actually liked my hair loose even more."

"You loved Pop very much, didn't you?" Maisie asks seriously.

"Yes, I did. In many ways I loved him more than the man I married." May says wistfully. "We should get some sleep. You have to be in school tomorrow."

"Do I have to go to school tomorrow? I don't want to." Maisie complains.

"I know you don't want to, but I promised your grandfather you'd go to school and you'd finish school. It was important to him and so it's important to me." May says firmly. She turns out the light and climbs under the covers.

Maisie slides between the sheets and waits for May to get settled. May has trouble getting comfortable with her ankle, but she finally finds the right spot.

May feels Maisie settle next to her close enough to be touched, but not close enough to be pressed against May. May can feel the tears drying on her face as she falls asleep. Having someone next to her somehow makes it easier for May to fall asleep. She remembered to shut the curtains in her bedroom. The fabric of the sheets feels smooth and comfy against her skin. May can only hope that Maisie is also sleeping.

Maisie somehow feels more calm when she's with May, maybe it's the link with her grandfather. She does fall sleep, but with a very heavy heart.


	4. Grief Renewed

When May first wakes up the realization that Leo is gone isn't immediate, but it soon hits her like ton of bricks. She sits up with tears in her eyes and sees that Maisie is still next to her. She doesn't mind until she looks at the clock and sees that it's 10 o'clock in the morning. Maisie is supposed to be in school. May carefully climbs out of bed trying not to wake Maisie since she clearly needs the sleep. May gets dressed and goes down to the kitchen to have breakfast. Grace is there having another cup of tea. "Good morning Grace." May says sleepily. "I notice Maisie didn't get to school this morning."

"I couldn't bear to wake her. She was all cuddled against you. I didn't find her in her room, so I came to find you and there she was. She looked so small and young. It seemed as if you both needed each other last night. I haven't seen you that calm since Mr. McGinty died. Can I get you a cup of tea?" Grace asks sweetly.

"Oh, that sounds absolutely wonderful. Thank you, Grace." May sinks into a chair.

"You and Maisie seem to be getting along very well, mother. She needs someone strong in her life right now." Grace says gently as she sets a cup of tea in front of her mother.

"She just cried and cried last night. She couldn't sleep and she didn't want to be alone. She just needed some reassurance and actually so did I. I miss Leo so much." May sighs heavily.

"Mother, I've never seen you so emotional and open. The change in you since Mr. McGinty's death is astonishing. You seem to need to talk more now than you ever did." Grace doesn't want to push her mother too hard.

"Maybe I'm just finally saying the things I should have said to Leo a long time ago. I didn't realize how many things I wanted to say to Leo until I didn't have him to talk to anymore." May says heavily.


	5. Explaining the Connection

Maisie comes downstairs when she gets dress and she hugs May from behind. "Good morning." Maisie says happily.

"Good morning sweetheart. Did you sleep well last night?" May asks sweetly.

"Yes, I slept very well. Thank you, Mrs Bailey. You were so sweet last night." Maisie pours herself a glass of milk.

"Grace couldn't bear to wake you this morning in time for school, but you do have to go tomorrow. You can't miss any more school." May says firmly.

"Pop wouldn't want me to miss any more school either. I'm just glad that I actually slept last night. It's the first time since Pop passed away that I've slept that well." Maisie admits.

"It's the first time I've slept that well too." May yawns. Somehow she was calm last night.

"I've never seen you cry before. I was surprised last night when you cried about Pop, but I understand you and he better now. I think I'll go to the shop after school to see if I can find that letter I know he wrote you." Maisie tells May.

"Mother, you cried? You never cry." Grace is confused.

"I just couldn't hold it in anymore. The comment you made in the shop asking if this is all life amounts to really hit home because Leo was so much more than what is in that shop, but no one knows his story. I found something in the shop yesterday that I didn't think he would have kept. A long time ago, when I was very young and very in love with Leo, I gave him a photo and a lock of hair. I found it yesterday. That's part of the reason I cried so much last night. We loved each other our entire lives and neither of us admitted anything when Leo came back here. Maisie told me he loved me from the moment he came back to New Bedford. That makes me a little bit sad because it makes me feel like we wasted time that we didn't have to start with." May sounds sad.

"Oh mother, it's so romantic! I didn't know you and Mr. McGinty were like that at all!" Grace sounds excited.

"Well, Grace, I'm hardly the most open person and really my emotions haven't been this strong in a long time. I don't talk about my feelings ever. Leo and I are not of a generation to share our emotions, but I do wish I'd told Leo how I felt about him." May says seriously.

"Why didn't you, mother?" Grace asks gently.

"My fear got the better of me and I didn't know how he felt about me. I didn't want to embarrass myself. My worry about my own reputation didn't let me speak out about how much I loved him. He was the love of my life. I didn't realize how much I missed him until he came back into my life. He knew me better than anyone else and he was my first love and my first kiss. He could always make me feel better, but he also broke my heart. Losing him this early seems so unfair because we never got a chance to talk things out and be honest with each other. Anger was our main emotion between each other and it seemed fake because that's not how we ever were together." May says sadly. "He came back to me when I needed support, but we never got to the point we could have been at. I could have married Leo and I wondered when he came back what would happen. I wish we'd taken the chance with each other."

"You're really going to miss him, aren't you, mother?" Grace asks carefully.

"I will miss him every day for the rest of my life. He was my soulmate in a way your father never was. I can't imagine my life without him again. I had to do that for long enough in my life already. I can't believe I've lost him again." May's eyes fill with tears.

Grace passes her mother a handkerchief to dry her eyes. "Why didn't you go with him to the Yukon, mother? That would have solved all your problems."

"He didn't think that it was safe or appropriate for me to be up there with him. He promised me he'd be back for me as soon as he could. I happened to believe him because I had no reason not to. Leo told me I couldn't go with him because the Yukon was no place for a woman. I wasn't afraid to go with Leo, but he was worried to take me with him. He didn't think I was ready. He wanted me to stay here and get the silver mine up and running with John so when he came back here he would somewhere to settle with me. The Yukon wasn't where we were meant to end up. Leo was always meant to be here. He helped found this town." May has been very nostalgic since Leo passed away. May stands up and begins to make breakfast for Maisie and herself.


End file.
